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New Texas Windows XP for all the Rednecks, Hillbilly, And people who can read Bubba Phonics.

 
Microsoft Corporation
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052-6399
Tel 425 882 8080
Fax 425 936 7329
http://www.microsoft.com



For Immediate Release

Dear Microsoft Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS XP TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of Texas.

If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the Alamo.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:

Cancel - stopdat
Reset - try'er agin
Yes - yep
No - nope
Find - hunt fer it
Go to - over yonder
Back - back yonder
Help - hep me out here
Stop - kwitit
Start - crank'er up
Settings - settins
Programs - stuff at duz stuff
Documents - stuff ah done did

Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS XP:

Tiperiter - word processing program
Colerin' Book - graphics program
Cyferin' mersheen - calculator
Outhouse paper - notepad
Inner-net - MS Internet Explorer
Pitchers - graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all ya'll!

Billy Bob Gates